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Wanted_Man of Honor Page 7
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“Elena, may I speak with you for a moment?” His deep voice came through loud and clear despite the heaviness of the door between them.
She grabbed her dressing gown and tied it about her waist. Then she clutched the opening at her neck.
“Come in, Tobias.”
The door opened and her husband walked in.
Immediately the room seemed to shrink. His pleasant woodsy scent permeated the room. Dressed for bedtime, Elena wondered if he’d renege on their agreement to keep this a marriage in name only.
“I wanted to speak with you. It’s been heavily on my mind. I know I won’t be able to sleep unless I come in here and beg your pardon.”
Her brow creased. “Beg my pardon?”
He looked uncomfortable but kept his light-blue eyes focused on her.
“I didn’t intend to…kiss you today, just as we had agreed in our correspondence. But I did not want to cause any embarrassment and unsolicited inquiries had we not…acted. Since we are married, the town would have expected—”
“I understand.” She relaxed her hold of the robe around her throat. “And there is no need to apologize. The situation called for us to act as we did.”
How did she act? Wanton? Heat flooded her face. Tobias hadn’t even moved and she’d lifted herself into his broad frame without any encouragement from him. Truth be told, it was as if whatever it was that had awakened inside of her when she met Tobias four days ago had taken over.
How could she explain that she’d never had this sort of yearning until he drew her into his arms?
Never!
“I still wanted to apologize, Elena. I also want to reassure you I’ve no intention of breaking my word to be your husband in name only.”
Elena stared into the handsome face above her as an exhilarating thought, loud as church bells, rang in her mind:
What if she were the one who wanted a marriage in truth?
The audacity of such an idea rocked her to the core. Where was all this coming from?
Mentally, she shook her head. No, that could never be. Tobias Clayborne was the husband she needed to protect her from Mace Thorne. And to fill her brother’s shoes as the town blacksmith.
Be honest, Elena, a tiny voice whispered. Tobias is nothing like you expected.
That much was true. In the four short days since he’d arrived in Silverpines, he’d already made himself an active member of the community. While he stayed at the hotel, Ella Grace told her how he’d offered to help with minor repairs around the inn. Mason Dekkum had come by the smithy and together, he and Tobias had drawn up a plan to design the new gunsmith forge.
Whenever they were together, with Fannie Pearl acting as a chaperone, he listened intently to her ideas.
He was a different man from her father and brother. They had dismissed her more often than not. Though she didn’t know much about blacksmithing, she did have ideas that may work to increase their business. One thought she had was to go around to local farms and ranches once every three months to visit the owners and give them the opportunity to place orders with them.
Tobias listened to her idea and found it sound.
“Even if it turns out to be a mistake, Elena, and nothing comes from it, at least we tried.”
And all of that had happened in just four days.
What more layers of this man would be unveiled if she had a lifetime?
“Elena, I also feel compelled to tell you this.” He paused, his face brooding as he took his eyes off her and stared off at a point behind her.
She waited.
“Today was the first time I’ve ever kissed a woman.”
Her heart did a somersault inside her chest.
He returned his eyes back to her, their blue, piercing gaze intent. “I hope I didn’t displease you with my…inexperience.”
Displease her? Hardly!
She attempted to calm her reaction by saying in a sedate, even voice, “No, Tobias. It was my first time as well.”
A bit of tension left his shoulders. “I just wanted to be honest with you.”
Elena knew she had to get him out of her bedroom. Somehow the air had changed between them. Charged with an undercurrent of emotions that were too fragile to express but tangible enough to bring forth the vulnerability she saw in his eyes.
“Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning. Good night, Tobias.”
“Good night.”
She shut the door and leaned against it. The room seemed colder all of sudden. Elena closed her eyes. Tobias seemed to be the man of honor she advertised for. These few days had shown that.
Surely, he’d be able to protect her from her other betrothed.
The weight of her guilt crashed down on her shoulders. She could try to excuse her actions but, in the end, she had to face the facts.
She married him, deliberately deceiving him. If he should discover that they wed under false pretenses, then he’d have every right to leave her.
And Elena didn’t want that. Not at all.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Elena hummed a little tune as she prepared supper for the evening. Married for a week, she and Tobias had already formed a routine. In the morning, she got up and prepared breakfast for him, glad for the cooking lessons her mother had insisted she learn.
She knew her cooking wasn’t spectacular like Mrs. Donlinson at the hotel in town but it was good fare, and filling. At least that how it looked to her whenever Tobias sat down at the table and ate every morsel, not leaving even a crumb in sight. He always thanked her for the meal, his blue eyes shining with gratitude and something else which lay just under the surface.
Elena had come to look forward to their times together. The quiet mornings where they sat and talked about their plans for the day. The topics ranged from matters regarding the smithy to the goings-on about town and rebuilding.
Now that the forge was fired, Tobias had begun to get busier and busier as the town moved forward in one accord to rebuild. When he left the house, he was gone for the entirety of the day, coming home when dusk settled over the Oregon sky. He’d wash up and then come back to the small table where they sat and enjoyed the food she’d prepared.
Cutting into the potatoes she was getting ready for tonight’s meal, she couldn’t help but compare how different Tobias was from her father and brother.
Her father rarely came home before night. Sometimes, even later than that. His clothes smelled like smoke, whiskey, and cheap perfume, undoubtedly from the saloon girls who worked in the gaming halls where he’d spent the evening. Elena wrinkled her nose in distaste as she remembered those times.
When her mother died, her father had careened further down a darkened path. He’d spend days away from the house. It was as if he’d forgotten he had a son or a daughter after his wife had died. Bo and she had gone hungry more than once but not as often as they would have if Fannie Pearl hadn’t ‘dropped by’ and left a dish of food for them to devour.
The knife in her hand shook. Why had Bo, when he saw how their father was, follow the same destructive path? Hadn’t it been enough to see the terrible times they shared for him to not make the same mistake? And yet, he did.
She heard the front door open and the tension that had held her captive eased. Tobias was nothing like her father or brother. In the entire week they’d been married, never once had he hinted at going into town for a pint or gambling at a game of chance. When evening settled over the Oregon sky, he was right in the house with her, content in her company.
Well, maybe content was too soft a word to use. In fact, she got the fanciful idea that he was…enraptured by her company.
His eyes rarely strayed from her as they talked. Sometimes, she’d catch a certain intensity in his eyes. Almost as if he were etching her features in his mind.
Elena admitted she liked the way he seemed to focus on her. Her father and Bo rarely gave her much mind but this man, her husband, always seemed to have time to listen to her.
“How was you
r day today, Elena?”
She turned to see him standing in the doorway. His clothes mussed and stained by the blacksmith’s trade. Long, giant hands oiled and greasy with coal and soot. Hair limp with sweat.
He looked wonderful. A man who took no issue with a hard day’s work.
Even when Bo worked the forge, it was sporadically. Her freedom from Mace hadn’t been enough for him to stop carousing and gambling at the tables.
The sleeves of his shirt were pulled up to his elbows. Corded veins lined those strong arms, and not for the first time, she hoped to feel his arms about her again.
“I had a good day. How was business at the forge?”
He shrugged. “Busy as usual. Lots of folks have heard about Mason’s and my forge. We’re knee deep in work and trying to stay afloat.”
“It’s certainly a good place to be.” Better that than hungry, without two pennies to rub together.
He came further into the kitchen. “What are you cooking for supper?”
She dragged her gaze away. Why couldn’t she stop staring at him?
He’s a fine specimen of a man. That’s why!
“Roasted potatoes, carrots, venison, and biscuits. For after, we have some peach cobbler.” There was a slight tremble in her voice as he stopped behind her. She inhaled all the smells of this man, her husband, intoxicated by mixtures of various scents and what they meant. Ash, soot, and a strong, but not unpleasant odor of a man who stood over pieces of hot, molten metal.
Her father and brother had reeked of alcohol, smoke, and cloying perfumes. Tobias’s masculine aroma was much more preferable.
“Hmmm, sounds good. Can’t wait.” He leaned over her, his chin covered in stubble. It gave him the look of a pirate almost, with a dangerous air. But the only danger she was in was of losing her control and kissing him.
True to his word, he hadn’t kissed her since their wedding. They still stayed in separate rooms, never once straying across the invisible boundary they had established together.
A boundary she was fast coming to the conclusion she no longer wanted.
Tobias was truly a man of honor. Hard-working, kind, gentle, and honest. She couldn’t have asked for a better husband.
When she placed the advertisements in the Groom’s Gazette, she’d wanted to protect herself from an unscrupulous man. But she no longer needed to do that. Here stood a man who would never hurt her or deceive her.
And, she craved the touch of his kiss more than anything in the world.
Her cheeks burned with that silent admission.
“What’s wrong, Elena? Are you feeling okay?”
Tobias’s voice startled her out of her reverie. She couldn’t very well reveal that the source of her blush was him. So, she decided to blame it on the biscuits. “I’m fine,” she said. “Just warm from the oven heat.”
“Well, I’ll go get washed up.” He moved away and her heart beat slowed down to its normal rhythm.
She looked over her shoulder to already find him watching her. “Supper will be ready by the time you’re done.”
“Can’t wait,” he said in a low voice. Why did she have the feeling it had nothing to do with the food and everything to do with her?
Once he left the kitchen, and she heard him head to the wash room, she exhaled a long breath. Somehow, without her knowing, she was falling in love with her husband.
Elena thought back to the note she had sent prior to their meeting. How could she have given him leave to find satisfaction outside their marriage? Now that her emotions, which she fought tooth and nail to control failed against her will, the idea of another woman made her want to scream.
Should she tell him then?
How did one go about telling one’s husband that far from not wanting his embrace, that she now wanted a real marriage? A marriage where they rested their heads on pillows side by side and discovered together the joys and delights of the flesh.
Such delights would then lead to the blessing of children.
Elena stopped in her ministrations of food preparation and ran a hand down her stomach. It was true! She would be honored to be the mother of his children. Her mind traveled down a rose-tinted view of the future—little boys with their father’s angular features and piercing blue eyes.
The dream stayed with her as she finished preparing their supper. It lasted as he came back into the kitchen, suitably clean and tidy. It danced around them as they sat across from each other and said grace. It lingered as she watched Tobias groan with approval and compliment her cooking. It hovered as she cut healthy slices of peach cobbler and set it before him.
“That was delicious, Elena,” Tobias told her as he leaned back and rubbed his flat stomach in contentment.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she told him shyly.
He grinned and then snapped his fingers. “Oh! I meant to ask you. Do you remember when you wanted us to go around to the local farms and ranches?”
She nodded. “I do.”
“I wanted to see if we can try it out tomorrow. I have some tools to take over to White Oaks Ranch tomorrow anyway for Max Winters. We can try out your idea. Would you mind coming with me?”
Elena blinked, trying to hide the tears that almost leaked from her eyelids. Her father and Bo had never done that. They always dismissed her ideas.
But Tobias…
“Oh, Tobias!” She leapt up from her chair and rushed to where he sat. She leapt onto his lap and wrapped her arms around him as she exclaimed. “Yes! I’d love to go with you. It’ll be so much fun!” Overjoyed, she bent and kissed him full on the mouth without thinking.
And the thoughts of making this marriage more than just one in name only reared their heads as she slowly drew back to study Tobias’s face.
The easy-going man was gone replaced by one who had fire in his eyes as his gaze dropped to her mouth. Her breath caught in her throat. When she tried to move back, his hand came up and cupped the back of her head.
Slowly, he pulled her head to his and captured her mouth with his own.
He was drowning. Drowning in the remembered taste of her no matter how many times over the week he tried to forget about the incredible kiss they shared.
Her lips were so soft. They held the faint taste of peaches and cinnamon from the peach cobbler they devoured between them. Groaning, unable to stop himself, he dug his fingers into her hair and pressed his mouth firmer to hers, being careful not to hurt her but wanting more than just a hint of her sweetness.
Each day, he fought the battle to forget that moment which had changed his life. Each night, he lost the battle as he lay in bed in the room down the hall, knowing that his wife was just right there within reach. Right there. Twenty steps from his door to hers, a twist of the knob, and then…
He always stopped his thoughts from going down that path. They had made an agreement and he would do everything in his power to uphold that agreement.
The problem was that with each new day, Elena’s power over him grew in intensity.
He hungered for her in a way he never imagined. Not just hunger to the physical side of their relationship but her company as well. She wasn’t like a lot of women he’d known who didn’t know anything about business or figures and numbers. Elena had a great knack for it. He’d seen her total up a column of numbers by just glancing it. Every couple of days, she came by the smithy around dinner and tidied up the ledger, writing up an account of the week’s work, money earned, supplies on hands, etc.
When she wasn’t assisting him, she’d go into town and see how she could help with the rebuilding efforts. She sewed, washed, cooked, and did other chores.
All in all, in the entire week they’d been married, Tobias saw his wife do more work than his mother ever did in her entire life! But he knew that Elena had been born into privilege the same way his mother had. How had two women with the same moneyed background become so different?
It was that industrious spirit of hers that Tobias loved. More than that, he l
oved coming home to her after a hard day at the forge. Whenever he greeted her, more often than not, she was at the stove, getting their supper ready. The sight of it worked powerfully on him. His mother never lifted a finger to do anything in her life. Whenever she didn’t want to do some task, she’d have a swooning spell, a fainting spell, or some other ailment which put her out of commission.
And his father let her, demanding she do nothing but be his wife.
Elena moaned and tentatively parted her lips. He cursed his lack of knowledge about women because he wanted to continue to kiss her but didn’t want to displease her in any way. Yet, he’d seen many men kiss women, and there was always some sort of action involved. Using his lips, he pushed her mouth further apart.
A hot jolt went through him. Elena was sweeter than honey and more succulent than melons. His control which he held onto the entire week slipped away like a lead on a dog. Urges which he’d suppressed over the years clawed at his insides.
He could feel himself about to lose control and he wasn’t sure if it was a bad thing. He finally wanted to discover what most men had had in one form or another—the sweet oblivion of a woman’s embrace.
“Tobias,” Elena breathed when he drew away to gulp in much needed air. “Tobias, please.”
“Please what?” he murmured, placing small kisses along her jawline, tasting her smooth skin and inhaling the light floral scent that could make a man lose his wits.
Just as he was about to. He’d nudged her chin up and delved his head into the crevice between her neck and shoulder bone.
“Make me your wife.”
He groaned at her words and captured her mouth once more. Tremors raced along his fingers and he could feel his blood heat up to a temperature to compete with the warmth of the sun. It would be so easy to do as she asked. He could imagine lifting her up in his arms, carrying her up the stairs and opening the door to her bedroom to discover what had been titillating his mind for the past week.
But he knew, he couldn’t. Not yet.
With agony, he released her tantalizing mouth, evading her when she reached up to draw him back down.